Saturday, December 5, 2009

Tiger Woods & His $exy Logo$


Tiger Woods should be damaged goods.


But he’s really not.


And he won’t be unless we find out he has fathered enough cubs outside of marriage to give former NFL running back Travis Henry (nine kids by nine different women) a run for his money.


Such transgressions would not be so easily explained on www.tigerwoods.com.


We thought we knew Tiger, but we didn’t.


Just days ago, we learned there’s something he loves almost as much as golf:


Cocktail waitresses.


Especially if, like, they sound like they come from, uh, ya know, The Valley.


We have also learned there’s something Tiger loves even more than cocktail waitresses and nearly as much as golf:


Corporate logos.


That’s why a man whose public image was as counterfeit as a three-dollar bill, or a Fox News “exclusive,” continued to sign on the dotted line as a pitchman.


It hardly seems to matter that news of his adulterous romps only gets worse. A British cocktail waitress is set to tell her story of “Shagging with Tiger” in a Fleet Street tabloid tomorrow.


If she's telling the truth, that would bring the number of Tiger’s extramarital affairs to four in case you’ve lost count.


Nevertheless, six of Tiger’s 10 corporate sponsors have issued statements of love and support.


The six are Nike, PepsiCo (makers of Gatorade), Gillette, EA (computer games), Net Jets (luxury jets) and TLC (laser vision eye care).


Tiger’s other sponsors—AT&T, Accenture (business consultancy), Tag Heuer (watches) and Upper Deck (sports cards and memorabilia)—are laying low, at least for now.


Hence, Tiger is batting .600 in the corporate game.


Soon, he’ll be back to batting 1.000.


Tiger gets $100 million a year from endorsements alone.


Seriously.


Either Tiger’s corporate sponsors believe an association with him is still good for business, or each is afraid a competitor would quickly sign him.


I suspect it’s the latter.


Tiger is as closely associated with Nike as any athlete since Michael Jordan, and thanks to Tiger, Nike Golf is an enormously successful brand.


Since Tiger is still young—he turns 34 on December 30—and could conceivably win on the PGA Tour into his late 40s, then begin a successful run on the over-50 Champions Tour, Nike would be insane to drop him.


If Nike dumps Tiger, a competitor would sign him to a multi-year deal in less time than it takes to read this sentence.


If PepsiCo says, “Tiger, we’re through,” Coca-Cola would say, “Hello, handsome.”


If Gillette says, “Tiger, you disgust me,” S.C. Johnson & Co. (makers of Edge shaving gel), would swoon, “Oh, Tiger, what a gorgeous face you have!”


Corporations will still line up to have a relationship with Tiger, his character flaws notwithstanding.


Why?


He’s the best in the world at what he does…on a golf course.


Now keep in mind, this has nothing to do with whether Tiger Woods, the pitchman, actually moves products other than those associated with golf.


American Express and Buick actually ended their affairs with Tiger in 2007, but only after enough focus groups told them they didn’t believe Tiger really drove a Buick or needed an AmEx card.


Tiger’s other non-golf sponsors know the same thing about their products. Yet they still adore him.


Truth is they can’t resist him.


That’s why Tiger has oodles of hush money and revised pre-nup money to throw around these days.


It’s all because of his most ardent lovers—the ones with the sexy logos.




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